AI RC Top 11 Results: Carry On, Our Wayward Nurse

As if Paul McCartney losing $50 million to that one-legged bandit was wasn't enough for him to endure, he and us were bequeathed another week of Beatlemania. I’m sure he would agree with me that this was a week we’re all relieved is history – not historic. Overall, “Beatles Week II” proved to be the antithesis of the “Lennon/McCartney” week last Tuesday, which actually wouldn’t make this “Beatles Week II” after all, maybe…although no one explained the reasoning behind Ryan’s differentiating the two. I’m confused too. But I’m just thrilled that these two “Beatles/Lennon/McCartney” weeks didn’t provoke anyone into a Ringo Starr imbroglio.

There will be a mere 4 mentors this season: the great Dolly Parton, the revolting Mariah Carey, Broadway Knight Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber and King Of Schmalt himself, Neil Diamond (Rob loves him some Neil Diamond – and I am guilty as charged too). Is a medley from “The Jazz Singer” too much to hope for?

The obligatory Beatles medley was odder yet…




…from David Archuleta’s glassy-eyed soporifics (not a single lip-lick!) and Chikezie’s bleating - which led to Michael John’s 5-word caterwaul - during “My Guitar Gently Weeps”, to the blasphemous rendition of ‘Here, There, Everywhere”, where Brooke nearly trespassed into Kristyville, Ramiele’s mike conked out (or was she just inaudibly mewing again?) and Kristy actually – sorta – sang in tune. The only thing more peculiar was the chorus of “Because” (are these kids tripping too?).

And if destroying the Beatles/Lennon/McCartney songbook wasn’t enough, they had to annihilate a great Clash song too by utilizing “Should I Stay Or Should I Go” in another interminable Ford commercial. Weekly, the result of this constant prostitution ring seems more Langley School-kids-as-Thalidomide-babies than anything resembling gossamer tones.

I’ll also save my ranting on the stupid waste of time that is the live phone-in questions. And, I think after my post yesterday, we all know how despised the mosh pit is.

And Kellie Picker's CD went Gold. Take that Taylor Hicks.

Tonight’s only real saving grace was seeing two of Idol’s finest. To hear the great Fantasia sing even a few lines of “Amazing Grace” could easily erase those painful Tuesday night blues. And Should-Have-Won-Season-Five 3rd place finisher, Elliott Yamin, produced a torrent of tears from Rob as Yamin himself wept when learning that the newborn baby was being named after him.

Carly’s stumble into the bottom three produced audible gasps in my household – not necessarily because Rob and I are Carly fans. We judge everyone on an individual basis, and don’t partake in the histrionics of the uber-fanatics. We just both thought she was excellent on Tuesday. It’s worth pondering if America agreed with Simon’s belief that it was a silly song choice, or if the back and forth bantering confused the viewers. Or perhaps, it was because Carly’s absurd explanation that “I’ve been trying…we’ve ALL been trying…to break this industry for so long...yada yada yada…you get beaten down yada yada yada.” Well, as sincere as that might have been, we all know Carly’s had copious attempts at stardom and just failed to capture America’s hearts. And the monumental conflict of interest (I MIGHT have previously mentioned - and linked to stories that - Carly was signed to MCA records during the same time period that Randy Jackson was the senior vice president of A&R) means nothing to Nigel Lythgoe or the AI PTB.

Amanda and Kristy were expected. Cook is just plain awful and makes a weekly trip to the B3, and people were either tiring of the one-note Overmeyer shtick, or resented her nonchalant attitude regarding selling a few concert tickets VS arenas. Don't screw with the emotions of the millions of Idol zealots, you Idol contestants - they are fragile little souls!!!!

Here’s what your result is America:





Another week of Kristy friggin’ Cook. Thanx a lot.


Admit it -and, just for the hell of it - didn't ya miss him even a little?