Elimination Night proved not so shocking. The only scandalous and outrageous occurrence was Paula’s absurd remark that “I’ve never seen a stronger bottom three. Really.” “Really”? REALLY, Paula?! I guess the Jesus Juice she’s been gulping from her strategically placed Coca Cola cup has fogged the memory cards in her brain, or she’s just stupid enough to recall the still-biggest debacle in Idol’s history, the legendary bottom three that was Fantasia, Jennifer Hudson and LaToya London, which resulted in Hudson’s ouster.
But I digress (painfully), so I’ll move along.
More insulting was Idol incorporating “A Day In The Life” lyrically to the contestants’ pimping the latest Fox release, the remake of “Horton Hears A Who”. Sample juxtapositions, and I kid you not: “I saw a film today, oh boy” (pan to the banner that reads the film’s title); “I saw a photograph” (cut to photo shoot); “…a crowd of people…” (just guess). Not exactly what Lennon had in mind, I’m sure.
Even more thrilling is that Idol hasn't prostituted the Beatles totally yet! Next week it's another week of "Lennon/McCartney"! Oh, joy.
Packing a five-minute segment into 60 minutes of filler is Idol’s specialty. We got the usual group number, another tribute to the Beatles which sounded more like the High School Musical version of Beatlemania (or “Across The Universe”, same difference). We had the obligatory guest singer – the anti-Christ of the music biz himself, David Foster, accompanying Season 5’s 2nd rate…I mean, 2nd place runner-up Katharine McPhee, warbling George Harrison’s masterpiece “Something” into a sexual innuendo (you’d think after a few years, McPhee would have taken diction lessons). Also, the first of countless Ford commercials, with Campaign ’08 as the theme (Look how cute! They’re all holding “Vote For Me” poster boards!). And of course, stretching out the bottom 3 results to an annoying degree.
Hernandez’ ouster was not so surprising. I said as much yesterday, although I was certain that the public would forget Syesha and cast their votes elsewhere. That almost happened. But I surmise we’ll never really know why there was a lack of votes for David. Was it the gay stripper scenario? Was Idol too, too gay this year for even the most open-minded viewers (well, this season’s most popular Idol is gay too; I just don’t think his fans know, or want to know). Was it merely the fact that his performance was awful enough?
I believe it was a mixture of all these things. And Idol is weaker for it. Personally, I can't wait for Archu-D2 on Broadway Show Tunes night!
Hey, a fag can dream, can't he?
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People should read this.
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